
You’d have to love literature to know that the title for this post comes from Robert Frost’s insightful poem ‘Mending Wall’, the story of two men doing an annual springtime stroll along their stonewall boundary and rebuilding it where the rocks have been displaced.
As they walk one man remarks to the other that ‘good fences make good neighbours’, a belief he has inherited from his father and one that he intends to continue with, even if he hasn’t properly considered its validity.
The message of the poem is that while some may believe relationships work best when we keep our boundaries strong and we don’t get too involved with one another’s lives there is a richness in life that also gets lost because of the choice to erect a wall.
At the start of the poem Frost laments the existence of the wall hoping for a more substantial relationship that can only come when it gets knocked down:
Something there is that doesn’t love a wall,
That sends the frozen-ground-swell under it,
And spills the upper boulders in the sun,
And makes gaps even two can pass abreast
Walls really are a double edged sword. They do serve to protect, but they also serve to isolate. Whether they are literal walls or simply relational walls that say ‘stop here’, the outcome will potentially be a safe but empty loneliness, a way of life devoid of the richness that comes from intimacy with others.
As people we are made for relationships with one another and with our creator. Maybe you have also inherited the belief that ‘good fences make good neighbours’ and not surprisingly your life is the poorer for it… Maybe a fence has been established between you and God as well…
Perhaps its time to consider that our walls may need to be torn down to afford a healthier and richer life both between us and people and us and God.
As Frost writes:
Before I built a wall I’d ask to know
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offence.
Something there is that doesn’t love a wall,
Indeed – something there is that doesn’t love a wall…
Here is the full text of the poem
Mending Wall by Robert Frost
Something there is that doesn’t love a wall,
That sends the frozen-ground-swell under it,
And spills the upper boulders in the sun,
And makes gaps even two can pass abreast.
The work of hunters is another thing:
I have come after them and made repair
Where they have left not one stone on a stone,
But they would have the rabbit out of hiding,
To please the yelping dogs. The gaps I mean,
No one has seen them made or heard them made,
But at spring mending-time we find them there.
I let my neighbor know beyond the hill;
And on a day we meet to walk the line
And set the wall between us once again.
We keep the wall between us as we go.
To each the boulders that have fallen to each.
And some are loaves and some so nearly balls
We have to use a spell to make them balance:
‘Stay where you are until our backs are turned!’
We wear our fingers rough with handling them.
Oh, just another kind of out-door game,
One on a side. It comes to little more:
There where it is we do not need the wall:
He is all pine and I am apple orchard.
My apple trees will never get across
And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.
He only says, ‘Good fences make good neighbors’.
Spring is the mischief in me, and I wonder
If I could put a notion in his head:
‘Why do they make good neighbors? Isn’t it
Where there are cows?
But here there are no cows.
Before I built a wall I’d ask to know
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offence.
Something there is that doesn’t love a wall,
That wants it down.’ I could say ‘Elves’ to him,
But it’s not elves exactly, and I’d rather
He said it for himself. I see him there
Bringing a stone grasped firmly by the top
In each hand, like an old-stone savage armed.
He moves in darkness as it seems to me~
Not of woods only and the shade of trees.
He will not go behind his father’s saying,
And he likes having thought of it so well
He says again, “Good fences make good neighbors.”
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